It was nine o'clock on a Sunday morning. I couldn't move. My phone rang, but I didn't have the strength to answer it. I was hung over, hell I was probably still drunk, but I had made it home all right the night before. I was in my bed and everything was right with the world. I just needed to sleep off my hang over. I was able to finally force myself out of bed around five o'clock that night, but I had come to the realization during those eight hours of pain, that I didn't actually remember coming home the night before. But hey, whats the worst thing that could have happened? Then I looked down at the pile of clothes on the floor from the night before. They were soaking wet and covered in feathers.

I was a little shocked. Feathers?!? Feathers?!? I mean, where do you even get feathers. It's not like I have a feather pillow or something. It had been raining the night before so I could understand why my clothes were wet, but feathers? Then I reached into my pocket and found a single condom still in its wrapper. Then I was thinking, "Oh shit, did I try and fuck a chicken?" After coming to my senses I went outside to talk to my neighbors. As soon as they saw me, they all started laughing and one of them started chanting, "Chicken Boy! Chicken Boy!" I knew it wasn't going to be good, but I had to ask, "What the hell did I do?"

I had started off the day with the best intentions. A friend and I had decided to get some lunch, which ended up being lunch and a couple pitchers. This of course led to a few more beers back at my house, which then led to some beer and a shot of Jager at the neighbors. Luckily for me, I still had a party to go to that night. Another cocktail down while waiting for the cab wouldn't hurt. The party ended up being kind of a bust. With the rain, very few people showed up and the last cute single girl left about ten minutes after I got there (coincidence?) Another couple cocktails down and I was thinking, damn I hold my liquor pretty well. Of course, just when I was starting to feel cocky, everyone decided to leave the party and go to a bar . When we got there, I ordered a drink and tried to close out the tab right away with my credit card. Apparently there was a ten dollar minimum, so I made an incredibly bad choice. I told the bar tender, "Well then, make me another one." I downed my first drink which was really just a glass of gin with a splash of tonic, signed the bill, put my card away, and picked up what may or may not have been my last drink that night. Everything after that is completely blank.

Fortunately, after doing some investigation, I managed to piece together some of what transpired after that last drink. My neighbors and I all made it home around the same time from different bars and at different levels of intoxication. Now, no one has told where the feathers actually came from (I don't think anyone wants to admit to it), but there were some kind of bags full of feathers in the alley behind our house. Someone said a crazy guy in a truck dropped them off, but I don't believe that. These were nice feathers, the kind you'd put in a bed or a pillow. After we found them, we decided the best thing to do would be to run up and down the street yelling at the top our lungs throwing feathers into the air. According to my roommate, who couldn't fall asleep because of all the noise, this lasted for a couple hours. After we were done, the street was completely covered. There were feathers falling from the sky. They were everywhere. People started coming out of their houses thinking it was snowing. At some point, I apparently found it hilarious to roll around on the floor of my garage while people dumped more and more feathers on me (see pic). This all didn't go unnoticed by the police either. They came by and see our little spectacle, but according to the law, there's two things that are not against the law to litter: water and feathers. That little fact is probably the only reason I woke up in my bed with a two day hang over, and not in jail.

To this day you can still see feathers in all the patios and gutters for five blocks in every direction and I still don't remember any of it.