i threw this random party at my mom's house while she was out of town, and all the ususal friends were there... with a couple new pretty faces showing up too. as ususal, i was drunk out of my mind, but by the end of the night found myself making out with this hot 34 year old broad with the most banging body. she calls me up the next day and we make plans to go out to dinner. i suggest that we meet at one of my favorite restraunts, but she insists on just coming straight to my place! it's very clear exactly how this date is going to go, or so i thought.

i'm 23 and healthy as hell, but for whatever fucking reason, the first time i'm with a new chick, i just can't seem to get it up. it's all in my mind, but this encounter in particular is one that i didn't want to blow. just the week before i found myself naked, in bed with a hot, horny chick that i'd been trying to fuck since the 9th grade. here she was, ready and willing and i couldn't stand at attention. i was embarrassed, she was insulted, and i couldn't let the same thing happen to me this time.

i call up a couple buddies, explain the situation, and in an hour we're heading down to mexico to buy some viagra. i'd never tried it before, but figured it would do the trick. i buy 2-100mg pills at the closest pharmacia, have a few tacos and coronas and head home. when we get back, we meet up with a few other guys and start playing poker. i figure since my date was the next day, that i might as well be confident in the efficacy of the goods, so i go into the bathroom and cut off one-third of the 100mg pill and pop it. i figure if i get a bone playing poker with the guys then i'm good for anything. i keep an eye on my watch, and in 14 minutes i'm rock hard for no reason. i play poker with a boner for another couple hours and am getting excited about my date the next evening.

here's a chat convo i had with a buddy after the date:

[13:28] xxxxx: howd the viagra work?
[13:28] redfox: haha, oh man.
[13:28] xxxxx: still hard?
[13:28] redfox: oh man.
[13:28] redfox: so on tuesday i tried about 30mg of it to see if it works
[13:29] redfox: in 14mins it was working great
[13:29] xxxxx: hehehe
[13:29] redfox: so on wednesday when she got there (she wanted to just come straight to my house (how much easier could it be?)) i took the rest of the 100mg pill, 70mg, 'cause i didn't wanna fuck around
[13:29] redfox: or 'cause i did wanna fuck around =P
[13:30] xxxxx: oh fuck.
[13:30] redfox: anyway, being the caluclated person i am, i see 14mins come and go on my watch and start to worry... i mean i obsess about these things in my head to the point that i'm going nuts
[13:30] xxxxx: right.
[13:30] redfox: 25 mins pass, and she obviously wants to get to it... so i'm like, i'll be right back, and go to the bathroom
[13:31] redfox: i fucking eat another 100mg pill (mind you 6x the dosage ineed)
[13:31] redfox: as soon as i swallow it though, i feel the first dosage start to kick in big time, but it's too late , cause i've already eaten teh other one
[13:31] redfox: so i say wtf ever, and we go at it for a while... but i guess at this dosage i got so much blood in my wang it fucking hurts
[13:31] redfox: it was an inch longer than it was supposed to be it was so fucking hard
[13:32] xxxxx: hahahahaha
[13:32] redfox: anyway, so we had a great time, but then later when i go to the kitchen everything is FUCKING PURPLE!
[13:32] redfox: all light is purple
[13:32] redfox: like super HID light purple white
[13:32] xxxxx: shit dude, im laughing in my cube.
[13:32] redfox: blinding purple is all i see
[13:32] redfox: when i open my fridge i fucking jump 'cause all this purple's coming at me
[13:33] xxxxx: hahaha
[13:33] redfox: she asked what's wrong, but i can't be like, sorry, i had to take 6x the dosage of viagra to fuck you so i'm wacked out
[13:33] redfox: so we go out to dinner, and everything is purple, i swear, i only see in this color
[13:33] xxxxx: haha
[13:33] xxxxx: did you drive?
[13:34] redfox: and i try to play it off and dinner goes well and she had to be home by like 11 ('cause she got a dui, and is only supposed to be driving to and from AA meetings and the last one is at 11, a real winner, huh?) so i could finally close my eyes and end this ugly purple world
[13:34] redfox: yeh, i dorve my purple car
[13:34] xxxxx: goddamn thats funny
[13:34] redfox: when i got back, i was gonna call xxxxx to call and check up on me in like an hour, 'cause i was so wacked, but i just passed out, woke up this morning and all was good <3
[13:35] redfox: anyway, we're going out again friday